Urban angst
Like a lot of you, I live in an urban environment. I have to live through certain things on daily basis that just frost my bacon. One of the things that gets to me on a daily basis is the lack of courtesy out there. I mean, is it so hard to hold the freaking door for the person behind you? Do I have to dislocate my shoulder trying to reopen the half-closed door that you could not be bothered holding 5 seconds for me?
Another thing that makes me want to become a famous mass murderer is the lovely people who, when getting off an escalator, decide to stop right at the very place they get off....., and take a look around. What do you think is going to happen to all of the other people on the escalator behind you??? By nature an escalator escalates. Non stop! Move it honey, I really don’t want to become stuck in your underwear!
A subject deserving its own discussion is grocery shopping. I would really like to know what happened to mankind that we now have to hunt for our food in a great hall full of aisles of canned desires and of non qualified chariot drivers whose only mission is to get in your way. And what is it with those badly placed product displays in the middle of the aisles that act like obstacles in a video game? Do you win points with everyone you knock over? Boy, do I have a lot of accumulated points! How many times have you gone grocery shopping only to find yourself blocked in an aisle by some egotistical, self centered idiot, who leaves their shopping cart in the very middle of the aisle, while they peruse the 7 different kinds of ketchup? I feel like screaming at them “For fuck’s sake, it’s just ketchup, buy the freaking Heinz! If it’s too expensive, the no-name brand will do!” But my partner gives me his “look”, and I politely say “excuse me”, as I try to pass. I swear, if it was not for my partner, my local grocery store would resemble Chicago in the 30’s, with me playing the part of Al Capone.
Then, when you arrive bruised and battered at the checkout, you’re looking for a line-up with 1, the least amount of people, 2, with the least amount of groceries in the cart, and 3, with the least amount of seniors. I am sorry, I have full respect for my elders, but Interac is not a social club: get to know each other on your own time.
Another thing that makes me want to pull the wings off of Brownies, is riding the metro. If I were an angel or alien sent to earth to find good people to prove that the earth should not be destroyed, I would not look in the metro. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to get off the metro, only to be blocked by a wall of stinking humanity that was trying to get on. I would like to make this very clear: You.Are.Not. Getting. On. Until.I.Get.off. Could this be any clearer for you? Trust me; my elbows are a lot harder than the soft body parts they encounter as I fight my way out. To those of you who insist on standing at the doors even though you are eight stops away from your station, you are completely annoying and an obstruction to my wellbeing. If the metro arrives at my stop and you are in my way, you just might find yourself getting off at a station you had no plans to visit. And please, let the guy with the broken leg have your seat; I am sure that you are comfortable sitting down, but how comfortable will you be with his crutch stuck up your ass? Think it won't happen?
Most of the time, I just want to yell “People, you have forgotten yourselves, remember that your actions affect everyone around you.” But then I remember that I am dealing with people. Sigh.
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